Aphorisms

Brevity is the soul of wit, and an aphorism can package a great deal of truth in a short quip.  I collect aphorisms sent by other people and occasionally try my hand at crafting my own.  I have forgotten so many that I resolved to start writing them down. 

My own aphorisms:

Women have finally won the right to do whatever they want in life --- now if they could just make up their minds! – Graham Seibert

Any proposition is true if your paycheck depends on its being true. – Graham Seibert

Any proposition is politically incorrect if it threatens your paycheck. – Graham Seibert

Success is not a matter of finding an interesting job; it is a matter of finding your job interesting. - Graham Seibert

Women chose to make men their peers, that they and society might prosper financially.  They could have chosen to make us their true spouses, that society would blossom through our children.  As with the serpent in the garden, they chose badly -- the poisoned apple of material success.   Graham Seibert

A fundamentalist doesn’t believe in evolution.

A liberal believes evolution among humans stopped cold 50,000 years ago, when they migrated out of Africa.

A realist believes in evolution.

Collected, many from my brother Duncan:

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. --George Bernard Shaw

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. --G. Gordon Liddy

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. --James Bovard (1994)

Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. --Douglas Casey (1992)

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. --P.J. O'Rourke

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. --Frederic Bastiat

Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it. -- Ronald Reagan (1986)

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. --Will Rogers

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. --P.J. O'Rourke

If you want government to intervene domestically, you're a liberal. If you want government to intervene overseas, you're a conservative. If you want government to intervene everywhere, you're a moderate. If you don't want government to intervene anywhere, you're an extremist. --Joseph Sobran (1995)

In general, the art of government consists in taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. --Voltaire (1764)

Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you. --Pericles (430 B.C.)

No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session. --Mark Twain (1866)

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. --Mark Twain

Talk is cheap-except when Congress does it. The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other. --Ronald Reagan

The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery. --Winston Churchill

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. --Mark Twain

The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools. --Herbert Spencer (1891)

There is no distinctly native American criminal class save Congress. --Mark Twain

There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences. --P.J. O'Rourke (1993

We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. -- Winston Churchill

What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. --Edward Langley

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. --Anonymous

And wise quotes:

Seek the company of those who seek the truth, and run away from those who have found it. -- Andre Gide

The nearer to the church, the further from God -- John Heywood (b 1497)

Living well is the best revenge – George Herbert (b 1598)

There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage -- Martin Luther.